So one of today's prompts in the Stressed Less Living Bible study by Tracie Miles is about Peace. Well I knew this was the one I should write about as this is something I struggle with. I put so much on my plate that I can never possibly accomplish everything that is there. For some reason I think that I HAVE to do every online Bible study I come across...I am homeschooling my 7th grade son for the first time (who by the way has autism)...I am working on my second poetry book. I am in several writing groups on Facebook and so many poetry groups that I have lost count. My son and I live with my 93 year old grandma, whom I help take care of. My 14 year old daughter lives with her dad about 2 hours away (which is stressful enough on its own because she has lived with me her whole life until about 6 months ago)...I have serious health issues that need to be dealt with...and the list just goes on. So I see something about peace and I'm like Peace...what is that?
My mom gets on me all of the time telling me that I am doing way too much and I need to take things off of my plate. But for some reason I need to have things to do. It's like an ongoing challenge deep inside of me. When I just sit around doing nothing I get all antsy and get up and do something. When I can't sleep at night I get up...I can't just lay there or my anxiety levels shoot up to the roof. I don't personally like being like this all of the time. I would like to relax...I think. But the thought of it totally stresses me out.
I just wonder if anyone else is like this or is it just me? Am I just some kind of freak that needs to have 50 million things to do at all times? Please tell me there are some others of you out there. It would make me feel so much better. Oh have I mentioned that I only sleep about 3 hours every night? I am very well aware that this is totally not healthy for me at all but it is what it is. Hopefully one day I will learn to relax and find that peace. Then maybe I can sleep. Until then...well I am going to try and do better about committing to 50 million different things...may just 25 million, lol.